Networking if You're Introverted

"Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people."
�* Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

Hearing that 75% of jobs are found through the "hidden job market," networking, can be alarming to new graduates, most of all to introverts. Often, introverts find networking awkward because it seems fake, exhausting, and even manipulative. If this sounds like your opinion, it might help you to reframe "networking" as building mutual connections, and then to approach it in a way that draws on your inherent strengths as an introvert.

Start with people you know: You'll be relieved to hear that cold-calling often isn't necessary. Most professionals are broadly connected, and people you already know could have ties that would be helpful to you even if they aren't in the industry you are seeking.

Just to see who is in your pool, develop a list of the people you already have a connection with: friends of your parents, parents of your friends, coaches, professors, supervisors, ministers, volunteer coordinators, the Career Center, etc.
Now, narrow it down: circle those on the list whose advice you trust most, then put a star beside the circled ones whom you find easiest to approach. These are the people you should start with.

Next, look for interests you have in common: Judi Grutter of CPP, publisher of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, asserts that introverts can be quite effective at networking if they find a topic that they are passionate about that they have in common with the person to whom they are talking. While extroverts network in groups and emphasize the breadth of contacts they're making, introverts prefer to network one-to-one, focusing on ideas that they care about that they have already thought through internally. When they are able to find an interest in common with the person with whom they're networking, introverts' enthusiasm for the subject rises to the surface, providing them the energy they need to have the interaction. For example, let's say you're a teacher who wants to work with urban kids who have challenging home situations: if you are at a teacher job fair, when you approach a recruiter, look for ways that that person shares your passion for underserved children. Connecting with employers on the level of ideas you care about will be energizing to you and engaging to them. When possible, that means that you might need to do a little research beforehand so that you can find things you have in common before contacting someone. LinkedIn can be a great way to do this research; just look at the groups they are a member of, and read their Profile to find out about their work history, and notice the ways they describe themselves in their Summary.

Make the initial contact: Often introverts prefer writing to speaking, so you might want to start out with a written message through LinkedIn or by email. Keep it clear and brief and don't be coy about explaining why you are writing, "As a new grad of Hanover, I am looking for a position in banking or finance, and Margaret Krantz recommended that I contact you. I am hoping you might give me 10 minutes of your time to discuss job search strategies in that field."

Before you call or meet, boost your energy: Introverts prefer to direct their energy inward to reflect on ideas, while extroverts direct theirs outward to connect with others. Thus, extroverts are likely to find networking inherently energizing, while introverts often find it draining. In order for introverts to charge their batteries before engaging in networking, they might benefit from the strategies Amy Cuddy outlines in her recent inspiring TED talk on Power Poses, in which she provides data about how assuming open, powerful postures, as opposed to closed, draining ones, can increase self-confidence and energy. Practice her recommended power poses for a couple of minutes before networking in person or on the phone.

Meet or call: As you begin the conversation, begin by bringing up the topic you have in common, "My mother says, 'Hi' and she hopes you're doing well." Allow time for a little personal conversation, then move into your questions. "I am glad to be able to talk with you. Mom tells me that you have a lot of background in working with inner city youth, and that is the field I'm most interested in. What got you started in it?" Ask questions you really care about; as an introvert, you will know what they are!

Postscript: Introverts have a great deal to offer employers: common characteristics of introverts include good listening skills, deep thought, self-sufficiency (they generate their own energy through reflecting on ideas), ability to resist distractions and stay on task, calm appearance, and expertise in subjects that interest them. While many have described their strengths, I recommend Susan Cain's book, Quiet, which explores introversion, and gives compelling information about the ways that quiet people contribute to the world. You can hear her discuss this in her TED talk, The Power of Introverts, as well.